Entry No. 4 | Create A Break
It's kinda of weird to write a blog post about literally taking time away from social media at one point in time, but I figure that this is going to be relevant for myself again at some point, and hopefully it's relevant for other people out there as well.
At the core, the purpose of my brand is to create a space for my clients where vulnerability is welcome without judgement, and I ultimately this purpose of my brand stems from a deeply-rooted personal purpose of mine. I've been over the trend of "authenticity" for a while, (you know, the staged authenticity that isn't actually real? We've all seen it, and most of us have probably done it, so no judgement haha) and I realized that being authentic really comes down to how you live your life.
ARE YOU MAKING THE CHOICE TO LET PEOPLE INTO THE YUCKY, DARK, AND SENSITIVE PARTS OF WHO YOU ARE, AND IN TURN, ALLOWING THEM TO BE 100% THEMSELVES WITHOUT WORRY OF JUDGEMENT?
I have to ask myself this every day, and when I don't, I find myself wallowing in insecurity, instead of being confident in who I am and what I'm capable of.
Which brings us to where I'm at right now: fighting self-doubt and and insecurity on the daily, especially when it comes to being a photographer in the ENDLESS sea of talented and cool photographers that exist on this planet.
There are moments recently, where I have found myself feeling sad, empty, alone. While this sometimes happens to me (and all you who are reading this and can relate) randomly, I can just tell that this time it isn't random. This time, it is because I'm tired of feeling like I gotta keep it all together, I'm tired of feeling bad for not being okay all the time, I haven't been taking time to do those things that feed my soul, and I've felt stuck because, by my own choice and fault, I have avoided being vulnerable with all of y'all, out of fear of judgement or perhaps even from me wanting so badly to be okay. Pretty much, I've felt like I just need a break from things that are weighing me down, but I couldn't see one in sight. Then today I realized
I DON'T NEED TO WAIT FOR A BREAK; I CAN CREATE ONE FOR MYSELF.
So, that's what I'm doing.
There are a couple parts to this "break" I'm making for myself. The first being
A BREAK FROM SOCIAL MEDIA (INSTA, FACEBOOK, ETC.)
While social media can be such rad tool for business, positivity, truth, and vulnerability, it also has that crazy ability to act as a catalyst for comparison, seeking validation through engagement, and self-deprecation. When the latter starts to happen, I forget to go back to the purpose of my brand and life, and I normally choose to shut down. My desire to engage and post on social media goes WAY down, and I feel like I don't have much to say, because when I shove emotions down, I forget how to talk!
All that being said, I'm taking a tiny break from social media, just to remind myself who I am, why I do what I do, and to get back on my feet again. Not like a HUGE month long break, but long enough for me to regain confidence in the things I love.
The second part of this break:
I'M CREATING A PERSONAL INSTAGRAM.
Thanks to my lovely and encouraging boyfriend, I was reminded that I used to LOVE instagram, because it was this awesome outlet for creativity. It also acted like a personal photo journal for me, filled with snapshots of my life, interests, experiences, and passions. Since I started my business, instagram started to become more of a tool for reaching out to my audience about one subject: photography. Don't get me wrong, it's so freaking cool that we have a platform to share our work with other people! But I started to let my other passions fall to the wayside, because I had to focus so much on one thing.
PHOTOGRAPHY IS ONE OF MY BIGGEST PASSIONS, BUT I'M NOT ONLY "SAMMY, THE PHOTOGRAPHER". I'M A HUMAN BEING, WHO LOVES AND DOES MANY DIFFERENT THINGS.
I'm choosing to create a separate space for the other facets of my life, to regain an outlet where i don't need to put as much time in to what I'm posting. This is something I'm very excited about, and I think that having two separate accounts will push me to continue trying new things that may not be exactly what fall within my Sammy Noelle brand.
If you feel like it, I have already created another instagram account, and if you feel like following along on my photography journey as well as the rest of my journey as a human, you can follow here:
Overall, I wanted to share what's going on with me, and what I'm doing to come back into myself. My hope is that through this, someone else who can relate is comforted and reminded that when you feel like this, you're not alone. That's what I think would help in a season like this.
Thanks for taking the time to catch up with me.
KEEP ROCKIN' FRIENDS. NEVER FORGET HOW MUCH YOU MATTER.
this blog was written while listening to: